We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
