pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
two words: eviction party
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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