evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
