her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
