Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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