yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
