Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
