while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
