we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
