WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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