i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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