He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
420 ftw
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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