Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I smell stomach acid.
nutella sex= disaster
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
