omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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