we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
