please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
