i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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