i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and she was petting her beer can
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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