Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
