Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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