I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You made out with two different species that night
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
