There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
