I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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