we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
no you cant smoke seaweed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Randomize