I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
