Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
