you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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