it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
