Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
