you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
