playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
