i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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