i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
