at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
