perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
