Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it's like iHOP with fire
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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