Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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