she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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