this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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