Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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