You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Terrible idea I love it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
