I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
