Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
