I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
