I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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