If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
