walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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