and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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