my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
