Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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