im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
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