I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
