man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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