im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
