when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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