Where did you get a picture of my penis
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
