im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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