Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
