You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
