Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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